Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Taking the Plunge (or Where I Would Go For the Weekend)

"Toilet Overflow!" Before the words were even out of my son's mouth, I was up and running, a mixture of adrenaline and speed. I rounded the corner, grabbed the plunger and averted disaster, again. We really need to get our pipes fixed. Homeownership isn't all that it is cracked up to be.

I sat back down and wiped my brow, trying not to hear the din that was my children playing. I need a break. A vacation. Yes, that would be wonderful. And that's when I saw the current topic for my webring, Crazy Hip Blog Mamas.

Where would I go and what would I do if I had a long weekend to myself? Some might think I would head to France, to replace the offending magnet that my husband so thoughtfully brought home for me. And I would, someday, love to see France. But... I would head to Tuscany. I fell madly in love with Tuscany through the book, Under the Tuscan Sun.

That book for me was a mental vacation. I opened the pages and could feel the warm sun beating down upon my head as I read. It was like stepping into a cool pool when the air is sweltering. I would sink down into it, and feel my body relax. Never has a book affected me that way. Now I want to see Tuscany.

Of course, my idea of a vacation is not having to do anything I don't want to do. This includes wiping little bottoms, tying tiny shoes, feeding picky little lemurs who only want to stare at their food and then back at me as though to say, "Are you crazy? I am not eating that!" Taking the children to Tuscany would be awful: "I don't want it, don't they have corn dogs?" There is not enough wine in the region to make a trip such as that enjoyable. So I would go by myself.

I would most likely stay in a nice hotel. There are some wonderful, 4 and 5 star artsy hotels in the area. I had links to them, but, naturally, they were left in a text file on my computer desktop and some child or other magicked them away. My own fault. Have I mentioned I need to get away?

The hotel would have high thread count sheets, and someone would come in and place a chocolate truffle on my pillow at bedtime. Of course, I would be there, and just ask her to leave the entire box. And it would be dark chocolate, naturally.

I would retire, with the light out, and no whining about how it was too dark. And no little feet would kick me in the ribs or steal my covers. No one would call me at 3 a.m. to inform me that they had to go to the bathroom.(and you had to involve me, because? You have forgotten where the bathroom in this house is?)

I would actually sleep through the night. I would awake on my own, with sunlight streaming through the large windows. No little hands would be grabbing at me, no shrill little voices would be demanding food. I would order room service for breakfast, take a shower (because there would be plenty of hot water...J, the Hot Water King, wouldn't be there to use it all) and just relax.

When my food came, I would eat leisurely, then head out for some sightseeing. I would stop and get an espresso at a sidewalk cafe, and just enjoy the local color. I would have no agenda. No one would make any demands on me, I would do what I wanted, as the spirit hit me.

Yes, that to me, would be a perfect get-away. I would arrive home rested, with a little bit of color from the sun. Naturally, I would have to buy some large Italiano Movie Star Sunglasses. When in Rome or Tuscany do as...well, you know the rest.

It would be a wonderful trip. But I don't think I would want to be gone longer than a few days.

The big comfy bed would start to feel lonely. I need those little feet there. And the cats that sleep on my bed at home are warm, and very comforting. Then of course, there is J. I would miss him, as well. And, just to be fair, I would bring him a nice magnet.

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6 sent chocolate:

whoami123 said...

We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!

You have a riveting web log
and undoubtedly must have
atypical & quiescent potential
for your intended readership.
May I suggest that you do
everything in your power to
honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
Designer/Architect as well
as your revering audience.
As soon as we acknowledge
this Supreme Designer/Architect,
Who has erected the beauteous
fabric of the universe, our minds
must necessarily be ravished with
wonder at this infinate goodness,
wisdom and power.

Please remember to never
restrict anyone's opportunities
for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
Dr. Whoami

P.S. One thing of which I am sure is
that the common culture of my youth
is gone for good. It was hollowed out
by the rise of ethnic "identity politics,"
then splintered beyond hope of repair
by the emergence of the web-based
technologies that so maximized and
facilitated cultural choice as to make
the broad-based offerings of the old
mass media look bland and unchallenging
by comparison."

Veronica Mitchell said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I love the magnet story. I hope you make it to Tuscany somedat.

Lucas with the Lid Off said...

Sorry about the plumbing but I also have a home that has plumbing from hell and I am not the kind of guy that likes to spend time fixing things. In fact my entire bathroom went to heck this week and now I am in the middle of a bathroom re-model (in my mind that includes gas and a match). So now I have no money for a vacation :(

Anyways great blog, stop by mine if you get the chance between feeding little fury animals and wiping butts.

Pepsiqueen! said...

Well we have a bit in common. Mom's. Breastfeeding, and Greenday it looks like!
Thanks for stopping by my blog, oh and for me it is Diet Pepsi only. Can't stand the other stuff. But DietPepsiqueen sounds dumb, no?
That is one helluva long post lady.

TLC said...

PepsiQueen, it isn't that long, the pics make it seem longer. But I am wordy, I admit that.

Mommy off the Record said...

ooooh. high thread count sheets and chocolate truffles. that's all you gotta say. sounds like Heaven!

ps. thanks for visiting my blog :)

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