Are you ever completely shocked at what comes out of your mouth? I mean, like some other person who isn't your mother is channeling their voice through you? And you stand there like "WTH did I just say??" Well, that happened to me today.
In my defense, my husband is out of town, and has been since
forever last Saturday. I have no idea which way is up, I would not make a good single mother. I think I would eat my children. With a spork. wait, let me back up...
We were having lunch at Taco Bell. It had gone well, if you don't count the fact that no one wanted to sit next to anyone else and once they did, they kicked one another. But that wasn't the problem. I simply am setting the scene for you so you understand why I was feeling so stressed. Afterwards, we were headed to the optometrist for JBug to pick out new frames. Yes, I was bringing all the kids there. See the build-up of Had Enough here?
Which is why, as we were leaving, and JBean took a handful of sporks with her (something she has never done, mind you) I said:
"What are you doing? An animal had to die for those, you know!"
What, T? WHAT? Maybe I have spent too much time being snarky at twitter, or maybe I am just losing my mind. And the sad thing is, I didn't even realize it, until JBug said, "What? What animal? That's not true. Why do you tell her that, mama?? (Daughter, haven't you ever heard of the Spork? It lives in forests in Siberia and...)
Because, daughter, apparently I am not
human thinking! WHO tells a kid with autism that she kills animals by wanting a spork?
Apparently, I do. Let the beatings commence. I'll be over in the corner, trying not to devour my children.
T, who did apologize and tell my kids my brain went to Germany with my husband