Can you stand one more post about BlogHer? No? Well, sorry, but I have to write it. There is no snark here, and lots of love, but also some truth, I think. It is not my way to slam or gossip about others. I pretty much run a kind blog and live by the credo that if I wouldn't say it to your face, I damn sure won't write it here. Just because I know how to type does not give me the authority to hurt others with my words.
This medium is powerful. Even if you only have ten readers, those are ten people you can conceivably influence for the good. I always try to remember that though you all sometimes come across as just pixels and screen names, you are real people, with real feelings. You can be hurt, or angered by what you read. You may go to bed and think about it. It might really affect you, even though it is online. It is easy to bring into your offline life. All that to say, I don't understand the meanness that I am seeing concerning BlogHer at all!
I am no longer twenty-something. And maybe my perspective comes out of my experience. But people treat you the way you give them permission to treat you. You give them the power to hurt your or make you feel inferior. They don't have it unless you surrender your own will to them. So some of the "cool kids" didn't talk to you at BlogHer? SO WHAT. There were enough of us there that would have talked to you if you approached, and honestly, probably did.
I don't know some of the Celebrity Rock Star Bloggers that some are so up-in-arms about. I know the group that tends to comment on one another's blogs, but for crying out loud, that's what friends DO for one another. There doesn't need to be a tear in your beer because they aren't commenting for you! They have established relationships. Find new bloggers to connect with. They exist. The Blogosphere is HUGE and there are a ton of people who would love to link to you, be your comment friend and just overall wet themselves with joy for the traffic.
I have nothing against the cool kids. They don't need me to defend them. I met some of them and partied with a few more, and they are awesome. Do I know them well? No. I have twittered with a few here and there. And will they remember me? I couldn't tell you. But you know what? I don't care. I had a great time at BlogHer, would go again in a heart beat. Because? It was what I made it. I didn't sit around and feel sorry for myself, I jumped in to meet the women (and men) that I wanted to know. There wasn't hero worship, there was simply a meeting of the minds and a sincere admiration for their work. In some cases, they knew mine. In others, maybe it made them want to see it. And then again, maybe not. I don't care. I went to meet women, validate my passion and learn a bit along the way. That's exactly what I did.
It's funny, because I wrote a post about whether I should even attend BlogHer. There were so many reasons not to go. But I figured if I hate it, or I don't fit in, or they hate me....I had a vacation from my family in a luxury hotel. How could I complain? Sure, there were fears. I went to BlogHer not knowing a soul in real life. My expectations, though, were that I would fit in fine.
I was never a popular kid. I was the geeky one in high school, maybe I tried too hard, or didn't know what to do. I wasn't athletic and I wasn't beautiful or stacked. I was a late bloomer, and didn't "find myself" until my mid-twenties. My interests were too cerebral I was once told by my high-school crush, "You're too deep. We want to know what color the car is, and you want to know what the paint is made of." Well, crap, just shoot me, then. Because I am who I am, and I always was. I stayed true to myself, and it worked out well.
I guess what I am trying to say is that there were over a thousand women attending BlogHer. And you couldn't find anyone to connect with? Really? Or you just couldn't be part of the A Crowd, and it felt too much like your experiences in high school so you sat in a corner to pout? If I see one more post that compares BlogHer to high school or college, I swear, I am going to lose it.
BlogHer was NOT high school. It was grown women, socializing with one another, getting to know one another, and in many cases connecting in a very strong way with one another. There will always be those who appear to be having more fun than you are. That's a given. The question is, can you find the fun there is to have? If you always look at the quarterback, don't be surprised if he is eyeing the cheerleader...and we can't all be the cheerleader but there are lots of other fish in the sea. Smarter ones, too. So the A-List bloggers didn't give you the time of day. Did you introduce yourselves to them, or snark about them from afar? Because not giving them a chance is just flat wrong.
For me, high school was over twenty years ago. I am over it.
T, who doesn't want to hear anymore nastinessThese are some of the amazing women I met at BlogHer (more to come): califmom,Lucretia, ShannonRenee,Tara, Lara, Stephanie, Jennifer, Angela D, akaMonty, Sarah, weirdgirl,Kristina,To Think Is To Create, Crummy Cupcake, Susan, The Karianna Spectrum, Missy, Squid, Lori,Jean