Friday, September 05, 2008

I Think I Am an Organic Idiot

Freakin'(Out) Friday #1

I've decided to lock my children in the closet. No, not for the reason you think.. they have been well-behaved lately for the most part. And they are fun to hang out with; they often make me laugh. They help out around the house, with a minimum of argument. In fact, there really isn't much wrong with them at the moment. give them time...

So, then, what's the reason that I am going to lock them in the closet?

It's simple. I can't afford to feed them. Now, you may say, spend the money you spend on your internet so your kids can eat! I say, Let's not get hasty I guess they are growing, because they constantly want to om nom nom nom. I mean, I feed them in the morning, it's enough for the cats, so what gives??

And of course, I can't just fill them up on junk. I spent $220 at the grocery store tonight. I almost fell over. True, we were out of a lot of items. I stocked up a bit. But I didn't buy meat. I barely bought anything. I had a large Trader Joe's cold bag and 3 cloth bags to show for my trouble. Insane. I think sometimes, though, my liberal guilt gets to me. I mean I want my kids to have it better than I did, of course. I didn't have it that bad, but there is always room for improvement.

That's why I need to lock them in the closet. . They are so picky! I grew up on hot dogs, and they were boiled, dammit. Not my kids, who say:

"I don't liiiiike hot dogs! Yuck!"

And I don't buy cheap-ass hot dogs! It's Hebrew National here, baby! About once a month. And they don't like lunchmeat. I grew up on Oscar Meyer baloney (it had a first name, dammit) But not for them. For them, I buy deli meat at $8 a pound. (only not tonight 'cause it was late and the deli was closed). They are so particular. I keep telling them if we lived in a trailer somewhere they would be beaten eating Velveeta sandwiches on Wonder Bread, so quit yer bitchin.' Eat your danged organic, preservative-free, let's-not-be-cruel-to-it until-we-murder-it -for-your -consumption-turkey-with-muenster-cheese-made-at-a-farm-where-they-tap dance-with-the-cows-and-then-massage-them-to make-them-happy- sandwich!

I'll be over here putting away the whole-grain crackers, organic fruit, fair-trade coffee and eggs that are only laid by hens who sing opera and stand on their heads every fourth Tuesday.

How about you? Are you spending your childrens' inheritance just to feed them? How much is a gallon of milk where you live?

T, who is thinking at some point, it gets ridiculous

16 sent chocolate:

T. said...

milk is $5.99 a gallon here. 1%, organic. I know, because I just bought it. SIX BUCKS for milk??

Your turn.

Tina said...

It is funny you should ask about the price of milk. I am in Florida and the price of milk stays about par with the price of gas these days!

I am wondering if one gets significantly higher than the other if I should put gas in my frig and milk in my car?

I have 4 girls so I totally feel your pain! We had a pesticide poisoning and I try to do all organics and chem free because of immune system issues. It is hard!

Thanks for this blog. Post was very funny!


Phisch said...

We spend around $6 and I can get raw milk for that price if I join a co-op. The boys eat hot dogs but I have to go to Whole Foods to buy them (talk about pricey). I miss on nice thing from CA: Trader Joe's.

Oh...since I mentioned them before, cupcakes:

Starlene said...

S$15-S$16 for a gallon of organic milk here. That's Singapore dollars so when you convert it, it's about $10.50-$11.15 in American dollars. Needless to say, I'm buying as little milk as possible and foregoing the organic because I just plain can't afford it.

Gayle said...

I'm glad I don't buy into the whole eating organic bs. Sorry, I've seen lots of 90 year olds who ate meat and potatoes (and no cow/moose was getting a massage!). I have a lot of mouths to feed and a $500 trip to Sam's Club is not unusual. Then I still have to hit Fred Meyer for the non-bulk stuff. I could not possibly feed this family on organic prices. Call me crazy, but the whole health thing has a lot to do with genetics...I've seen lots of organic-eating-exercising-fantatics drop dead at 45 while the beer-drinking-processed-food-eating guy lives to 80. I understand preferences, but if it is unaffordable than you might have to make concessions. BTW I pay $3.50 for a regular ole gallon of 2% milk. (God, please don't strike me down for posting anti-organic....I mean no harm...I'm just at the quantity over quality stage of my life).

Anonymous said...

I buy all Kosher meat- which is CRAZY expensive. It's a good thing me and my husband dont eat red meat or we'de be in the poor house!

Sarcasta-Mom said...

I don't buy organic- I just can't afford it. regular old non-organic milk is just under $4 a gallon here.

My G is a super picky eater, so grocery shopping is a challange, and my K has some seriously expensive eating selections. I think the closet sounds better and better each minute.....

Fidget said...

we had to abandon organic milk - it's between $6 and $7 a gallon and my freaks go through at LEAST 4 gallons a week (thats with me pad locking the fridge). SInce I started couponing I've been letting A LOT more junkfood in the house. It makes me sad but we have got to eat and my gluten free eating... and now my insane breastfeeding diet is killing our budget.

Susan Hupe said...

Loved your post! Had a much needed laugh. Milk is over $6 now. I have had to settle for RBST free milk, but not organic, at about $3.50/gal. We go through about 6.5 gallons a week (only 4 of us, too) and lots of Cheerios.

Blessings to you and thank you for sharing your sense of humor with the world. I'll visit again.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the great laugh this morning!! I don't buy too much organic, but groceries still eat away at my perfectly good budget. Two teen/preteen growing boys??? It's time to buy a farm, I think. Would be cheaper.

savvysuzie said...

Milk at its cheapest is $3.29 a gallon here. I'm EXTREMELY lucky in that I don't have too many dietary constraints to deal with, just low on the sugar for Mr Diabetic aka DH. I average about $225-275 a month on groceries right now, if I had to buy for special diets I'd be in a load of ca-ca.

Joe said...

I also don't eat organic... too expensive. I pay usually about $2.50 for a gallon of milk. 1%.

And about the kids not liking hot dogs.... let them miss a few meals... they'll think boiled hot dogs are a gourmet feast!!!

Speaking of.. hot dogs do sound pretty good... hot dogs, easy-cheese, and tons of onions... mmmmmm

Heckyeah said...

OMG join the club. My Aspie daughter AND I (now suspecting we both are celiac) are both gluten and casein free. We don't drink cows milk, but rice milk. Food used to be the basics but now our basic cable/internet combo is the cheapest thing we spend our money on. If I didn't have the internet I'd go insane and that's GOT to cost a lot.

I have to go shopping today. SIGH.

Trysha@Toasted said...

HAHA! I just went through this last night. I made a trip to Sams and to Albertsons.

Most times I can find the milk on sale for 2 for $6 or $7, but when the half gallons are $1, watch out and drink up...there are starving children who would finish that milk before it spoils.

Lunchables? I cut out deli turkey and pack crackers on the side. Oh you don't like the school pizza...I'll make hoagie pepperoni pizza in the morning for your lunch. I cater to my kids.

Linked from Portland Foodie (maybe?) I don't know...

T. said...

tina: I understand special dietary needs, it's rough. I am not sure about milk in the gas tank of your car, though. Pretty sure all that will do is make it stink.

Phisch: if you ever want me to send anything from Trader Joe's I would be happy to! And those cupcakes are amazing!

Susan: we loooove honey-nut Cheerios here. Pretty much the only thing I use milk for is cereal.

topsytechie: problem with a farm? SOMEONE has to milk them cows at WTH O' Clock. They won't milk themselves, dangnabbit.


fidget: we know all about gluten-free here! After a time, it gets easier, and even less expensive. Hope it is helping your babe!

sarcasta-mom: if we implemented a closet-exchange program, we could ferry the kids back and forth and pretend it is vacation!

geminigirl64: I didn't even know you could find kosher meat, with the exception of Hebrew National hot dogs! Guess it goes to show what I know!

gayle: yes, I suppose it might be bs, but when you have a kid who has dietary issues (my son eats no gluten or casein, it tears up his stomach) you begin to see things differently, I suppose. Yes we will all die, but I am in no mood to hasten it, nor do I wish to be in ill health for many years, either.

Starlene: I remember reading about milk on your blog a few weeks ago. I still cannot believe that!

T. said...

savvysusie: so that's why I'm in caca, then? It isn't easy, but it's necessary so we deal, right?

joe: I would never feed my kids boiled hot dogs. I find them nauseating. Every time my mother made them when I was a kid, I threw up. Nope, I micro-nuke ours. Yummy!

heckyeah: with my son on the GFCF diet, and my youngest daughter poised to start (despite her protests) I imagine our bill will just keep going up. But cut out Internet? Surely that would be torture?

trysha: we call deli meat and crackers and Babybel cheeses "Homemade Lunchables" here. And they taste so much better than that chemical-laden box stuff!

Thanks everyone for the comments! Sorry I am so started, and that means and I just getting started, too.


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