When I heard that Barack Obama was going to make history by actually involving citizens in the political process, I was excited. Call me idealistic, I like to believe that politicians get into the game to make a difference..
So when Barack said he was going to let a select few be the first to know who his Veep was going to be, I said : "Sign me up!" I eagerly sent a message to 62262 and sat back and waited. I was going to be in the know, baby! I was going to find out, before all of y'all, who Barack picked as his #1. (Since it couldn't be me) All day long, I waited, sneaking peeks at my phone, just in case. Nothing. Is this thing on?
I ate dinner,sneaking peeks at my phone. It remained silent. I put the kids to bed, but still, Barack didn't call. Did he forget? Did he lose my number? I stayed off the phone, to free it up for his call. In an effort to pass the time, I sat down with twitter and started seeing stray messages: CNN says Biden is Veep announcement. Hmm, are they just predicting? It can't be! Surely, they don't know...since Barack said I would know first? Then more questions arose as the WSJ and HuffPo began confirming it. And still? My phone remained silent..
Maybe he wrote the number down wrong? He couldn't be like all the others, could he? Not Barack? He said he would never run around and desert me..
All night long, my phone remained mute. Finally, when I had given up hope, in a slump of betrayal, I was headed to bed I couldn't wait no more. And as I was brushing my teeth? At 2 a.m.? after the bars close (and I assume that he couldn't get any other action), my phone buzzed. I had a message. Barack, Rock-Star and Next President had just given me the equivalent of a text-message Booty Call. That's right, girls. Say it with me now: a man callin' that late only got one thing on his mind, and it ain't your brain. Barack didn't find it terribly important to call me earlier. He waited until the news broke, and then he texted me (and you?)_ as an afterthought..
I feel so used. My heart is broken. I know how this works. First it's a booty call here and there. And you relax your standards, cause, hey, he looooves you. Next, it's a vote hoping we look the other way. But, just this once. Finally, you're rationalizing deregulation of the telcom business and charging tax on the Interwebz.
Don't you leave me feeling cheap. Barack, I thought you were different. Turns out that maybe you were a playa all along.
*yes, this is satire. Meant to be funny. I get that it was leaked by accident, and no I am not broken up about it.
T, who don't play that