The chanting from the backseat was making me crazy. Here I was in stop-and-go traffic (after all, I live in Orange County, what else would it be??) and my littlest one was going on and on about something she found important and I found vaguely irritating. Halfway listening, I asked her, "What?" "Mommy, can I have a walrus?" I pondered for a moment...say what? So, she repeated herself, "I want a walrus! I want a walrus!" Now at this point, you are probably saying to yourself, if you are halfway normal, "A WHAT?" But not me.
Used to bizarre requests because my son is the Master of the Non-Sequitur,
I simply responded, "Where would you put it?" My daughter answered me: "Why, in my pocket of course!"
"I don't think there are any that small?" Again, remember, the majority of my attention was on the road and the cars in front of me who do really stupid things when we are all trying to get home. But also, in my defense, I have been known to say things like:
"Get your feet off the ceiling!" (my son has a loft bed) "NO you can not have a hot air balloon, quit asking!" "Your butt is for sitting on, we don't want to see it!" "I am pretty sure no matter how hard you try, the cat isn't going to play the piano."
So, I was in the ballpark here. Then: "Wait, you want to put a walrus in your pocket? It would have be a pretty big pocket!" "What? No, mama! I don't want a walrus, I want allowance! A walrus. That's just silly."
Yes, and I pretty much wrote the book on Silly.
T, who needs to pay better attentionWhat's the silliest thing you thought you heard, lately? super-awesome walrus shot by Ralph Lee Hopkins