Disclaimer: I don't Really cage my children....
This exchange took place on twitter today...after mentally wrestling with my children again...in exasperation I posted the following:
@sendchocolate: Some days I ask myself why I do it, and don't say, run away to Costa Rica and categorize monkeys
@sendchocolate: I already categorize monkeys, but at least in Costa Rica I wouldn't have to TEACH them. Or clean up after them
I received this reply:
@missbanshee: @sendchocolate I'M sorry, WHAT? You CATEGORIZE MONKEYS? Helloooooo, best job EVER!
And I answered:
@sendchocolate: @missbanshee it's not all it's cracked up to be. They fling poo at me. A lot. And they are disrespectful. And don't do their schoolwork.
Well, after this little exchange and a withholding of the monkey chow I am happy to say, the monkeys straightened up and now are flying right. (flying monkeys??) They finished their schoolwork and actually listened and did what I asked. In return, I let them out of their cages. Of course, in the process of getting them to do what they are supposed to do without me blowing a gasket, I probably sounded like one of those screechy monkeys you hear when you go to the zoo...I hurt my own head. No, really. I did.
I get so tired of being the bad guy around here. Why do I have to ask someone multiple times to get them to do what I ask? Kills me. They finally do it, but in the meantime, I am thisfar from the intellectual equivalent of flinging poo. Between two with autism and a teenager? I want to know where I go to quit. It is so much faster just to do it my own self. But if I didn't, I have a boatload of excuses to choose from...the monkeys have taught me that.
*it's not my fault
* I didn't get it out
*It's not mine
* I cleaned it yesterday
* the garage is scary
* I want to play
*I finished it already
*It's not my turn
*I didn't see it
*I didn't know where it went
*you wanted me to do that, too?
*I didn't hear you
*I didn't know it was my responsibility
*I have other things to do
*I am not a slave
*what would you do if I wasn't here??
*it's not on my schedule
*nobody but you cares about that
*you worry too much
*you're making more work
None of these reasons flew. (not like the monkeys, anyway!) I guess it appeared I was serious, because I didn't have to repeat myself (or fetch my flying monkeys) that much in the afternoon, and things were actually done! of course, I cried at one point, in frustration..amazing what that does to childrens' attitudes. I would suggest you use it sparingly, however. Might lose its impact. I'll let you know the next time I use it.
T, who says see how much fun we have on twitter?follow me on twitter
thanks to @missbanshee for the conversation & blog fodder