Sunday, August 22, 2010

The pitfalls of social media: an apology, of sorts




I found the dark side of being plugged in, and really it's my own fault. Let me explain. I spend a lot of time online, with people I consider my friends. Many I know in real life (in fact, I don't even differentiate anymore...if you are my friend, you are my friend...period).

To that end, I spent five days in New York City around some of the smartest, sexiest and most cuttingly-funny women around. (and a couple of men, too). Is it any wonder that I let my guard down a bit and let out some inner snark? I have finally accepted something. I? Am funny. People will tell me so, and I never owned it. Now I do. I can be quick-witted and I am all about the entertainment. I see twitter as both a place to have relationships and a place to make people laugh. Last night, those clashed, much to my chagrin.

Like I said, I spent a week at Blogher, with women who were quick on their feet, able to define their humor in 140 characters and the snarky comeback was expected. and valued. Normally, I detox from that and become the person who can enter polite society again, but since I have had a horrendous headache off and on all week long, I haven't spent much time circulating in polite society. And I gaffed.

Last night, a friend threw a party. I had other events I was supposed to attend, but begged off so I could rest up and make it to the party. She is a single mom and doesn't get a chance to let loose that often. I wanted to at least honor her by making an appearance. We did so. The get-together was low-key, with good friends and some soft music. I guess I had NYC on the brain, and wanted the music and the good time I had there. Luau music wasn't doing it for me. So I tweeted that the music wasn't good. I was chatting with friends and wasn't really thinking about it. The obligatory replies came in, about the fat guy with the ukulele and the Wizard of Oz song. Cue laughter. Fun.

If the party had been thrown by one of thousands of my friends on twitter, they would have gotten it. We snark on twitter, someone else replies with a smart ass remark, we all laugh, The End. Well, I forgot that my friend isn't a blogger, and isn't a social networking addict like the rest of us. So the attempt at humor was foreign to her...and I hurt her feelings. Shit.

She called me out on my bad manners, and I tried to explain, but I am not sure she


understood. I went back and deleted anything that could have been misconstrued. (A comment about watching fireworks and I hash tagged it "is the party over") But last I heard, she is still pissed. The really frustrating thing is that in the past she has said some really awful and judgmental things to me and I have completely just dismissed them. I never even said anything to her about it, because, well, that's what's you do. I don't mention it for any other reason but that I think friendship goes both ways... you forgive. And you forget.

So. Lesson learned. Which is? Don't tweet anything that might hurt someone else? Or that all of your friends need to be bloggers. I am not sure which is right, but I am certain it is one of those.

I am too old for drama, people. Carry on with your bad selves. And I'll tweet you later.

posted from my iPad

3 sent chocolate:

G's Mom said...

I am so with you, I should be sitting on your lap- but only if there is good music, extra chocolate and NO fireworks!

Tony Letts said...

You can't know which tweets might hurt someone who is hyper-sensitive. You must just be yourself and be true to yourself. Your friends should be the people who enjoy the true you.
GET OVER IT and know that you did nothing wrong - its her problem :)

Annette said...

I'm confused, she's not a blogger or a tweeter, yet your tweet offended her? ....

Anyways, tweeting, unless it's posted to @secretweet, should follow the same rule our parents taught us "Don't say anything if you can't say anything nice". I too have been burned by tweeting what's on my mind but wouldn't necessarily say out loud. That's where the line gets crossed. We tweet what we think, not necessarily what we would say to someone's face.ESPECIALLY if that person doesn't get social media.

Ok, off to catch my bus. We need another GNO Wine night.

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