Tuesday, May 11, 2010

It's not a matter of more time, or better skills, it's a matter of quiet

I can't write. Part of the problem is that it's Monday. But it's also just...life. Every time I sit down to put my thoughts on paper, some crisis hits and I have to break out the proverbial fire hose or do recon. I have so much to say, but I cannot get my thoughts in order. Chaos reigns supreme in my house. As I write this, my youngest child is sitting here alternating between, "I don't care what you say!" over and over again, and "EVIL!" and just screaming. There is only so much that you can listen to this before you start to tune it out. And don't tell me to try to make it better, nothing does. It is Monday, after a particularly busy weekend, and this is par for the course. Albeit, a little louder than usual. Such is autism in my house.

As I write this, my son is in his room egging his sister's behavior on, and trying to see how far he can push me. He is supposed to be writing an essay, but unless I stand on his neck, figuratively speaking, that's not going to happen today. He just slithered past behind the couch thinking I didn't know he was there. Now, he is making faces at his sister. Again, he thinks I don't know. I am about ready to pounce on him so we can work on his double-digit multiplication, so he is trying to maintain a low profile.

I had to resume this post after I dealt with JBean. She was out of control. Hitting me and throwing Legos, not enough to hurt, but enough to be really annoying. I finally picked her up and deposited her in her bed, with her screaming, "You're hurting me! I really wasn't she was just overly sensitive. I tucked her into bed, with her weighted blanket, including her arms. Think: swaddling a baby to calm them. I sat next to her with my legs over her, not my weight, just my legs. She was screaming, but I know her well enough to know what calms her.

After a bit, she was quiet, and I could see the comprehension shine in her eyes once again. I picked up the closest stuffed animal, which happened to be a multi-colored patchwork elephant, and told her to hold him. Then I asked her what color she was feeling. She pointed to red. "So you are angry?" She nodded her head. I told her it was good that she could tell me how she was feeling. Then I pointed to white. "This is peace. It's a good feeling, and if you add it to the red, you can end up with pink. Do you think you could be pink?" She nodded, her eyes wide. "I could try, " she said.

Then she pointed at purple. "What's that, " I asked. "it's 'I'm Sorry," she said.

And she was.

Crisis averted, peace restored. At least until lunchtime, anyway.

But this? Is why I can't write.

T, who keeps trying

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6 sent chocolate:

Spot said...

I think you're sensational Tina. You're an excellent mom and very brave. Hang tough.

♥Spot

Tina@ SendChocolateNow said...

Thanks, Spot. There are days that I really don't feel very sensational at all. Just very, very vulnerable and think I am doing everything all wrong. This was another one of those days.

T.

Ariane said...

I really loved the color idea.
Might try that with DH. Maybe he will talk ;-P

Joe 'Zonker' Brockmeier said...

Brilliant. Thx for that. :-)

Cynthia said...

I saw this over at Mom Blog Network - I'm a community manager there and it was so funny - I put your blog in our featured list for the week. I'd write more but the troops just walked in the door and I can already hear the cries of what's for lunch!!

Tina@ SendChocolateNow said...

Ariane: If the color idea works for you with your dh, let me know. So far, mine is like, "Yeah, that's black. And that's tan. Get me a sandwich." (ok not that bad, but you know what I mean)

Joe: hope it helps! I know it has really opened up communication with my daughter!

Cynthia: Thanks for the recognition! I appreciate it. Glad you found it funny.

T.

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