Sometimes I think I'm just not a very good grown up. In fact, maybe I am not a grown up at all. You've heard "You can dress me up, you just can't take me out?" That was for me. Oh, no, you say...you have it together, so sophisticated, cultured. Yeah. Uh huh. Let me tell you.
Tonight, I went to an amazing blogging event put on by SVMoms/LA Moms at the Ritz Carlton in Dana Point. I pull up to the valet in my 2001 minivan with the dent on the side from the hit-and-run driver a few months ago,wasn't I just a sight? Because you know places like that just don't have self-park! So I stop the car, and I must have been nervous, because I had the damn thing still in Drive and it started rolling. Sweet. Not fast, just enough to fluster me. (what am I doing here?)
The event itself was wonderful. Everyone was so nice. We all mingled really well, and no one put on airs. It was wonderful to see familiar faces, and meet new people, too. I gained some great insight into how P.R. people think and gained some great tips for video blogging. (stay tuned, hint, hint.. Not that you want to see my goofy face every day, but oh well). Afterwards, we were invited into the actual event room, and wow. An entire room of people who just want to meet me! (and other moms, of course). So many wonderful brands were represented: Stonyfield Farm with new greek yogurt (to die for!) and Whole Foods and new Cinnabon cupcakes and Skechers Shape Ups shoes and the cutest little bag from Ju Ju Be that I put my camera in while it rides in my purse and Stride Rite and iGo and Bosch Tassimo and Taga and and... And? Chocolate!
Still with me? I can feel your eyes glazing over as I write this, but bear with me, this is where it gets good. I am standing at the Bosch Tassimo table, and they are drawing me a nice cappuccino (sooo cultured am I) when my overladen butt (not because it's big, mind you...I just had a bunch of things I was carrying) sideswiped the coffee cup table and...well, let's just say, I got noticed. Here I am, in the Ritz Carlton, trying to be cool and show brands why they want to work WITH ME! ..when the cups started crashing down around me. And it was loud. Conversation slowed, and the cups just kept falling. It was one of those moments that goes on forever. I just closed my eyes, willing it to stop. I viewed the wreckage, then turned to the nearest Ritz Carlton employee and said, "You can just take that out of my paycheck." Someone near me said something about "Hope they don't make you pay for that, heh." Grinning sheepishly, I replied, "If I have to pay for cups at the Ritz, maybe the economy is worse than I thought!" Baby, take a bow.
A train wreck? Honestly, what else can you expect from me? I was visiting a friend in San Diego, picture this. We are in this really swanky, tony hotel bar, happy hour, having cocktails. Now, I don't have cocktails out very often. Yeah, ok, popping down to the local pub for a pint is more my speed, but I was living like a grown up this day. I sit down at the bar, order the nice foofy drink and set my water bottle on the stool next to me, with my purse. (we had been walking and the bottle was too large to fit in my purse. It manages to fall to the floor and roll all the way across the bar (did it come with batteries, what the heck?!) The live musicians STOPPED playing and waited. And me? I of course, just cringed. Because what else do you do in that situation? Take a bow? Oh, yeah, I did that, too.
My father used to tell me I couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time. I think he may have been right. But wouldn't you think, at my age, I would grow out of it? So. Not. Fair.
T, who might be dangerous