It's up to us: what will we do about bullying?

Today's post was written by my 16 year old daughter. Please read it, I think she has something important to say. xoxo T.

Tyler Clementi.

Asher Brown.

Seth Walsh.

Justin Aaberg.

Raymond Chase.

William (Billy) Lucas.

You might not have heard these names. These are all boys who committed suicide in the last few months after being bullied due to their sexual orientation. Who knows what they felt? Alone, ostracized? Like life wasn't worth living. Like they didn't matter? Their acts of desperation could have gone unnoticed. Thing is, we saw. The internet saw. First one, then another, then hundreds, then thousands of people took a stand. In their own way, everyone said that these boys…and so many like them…matter.

Then, the internet spoke. (Well, it didn't really. It's inanimate. Go with me here, I'm making a point.)

It started with an idea.

Social media spread the idea to quite literally thousands of people.

The idea was simple: wear purple (the color of spirit on the LGBTQ flag) on October 20, 2010 in memory of those boys, and for all the other kids out there who may feel the same way.

So today, I wore purple. To my surprise, there were other kids in my (conservative Christian) class who wore purple. Not to mention the thousands of people all around the world. Teachers, parents, talk show hosts. We took a stand against bullying, against the idea that what happened to these boys was okay.

Bullying is common now. Before, insults were thrown in front of a class, maybe twenty people. Now, cyber bullying is the norm. Hateful anonymous comments, bringing down the person in front of everyone on the internet...whole schools. But kids will be kids, right? They need to suck it up. Learn to ignore it. A common answer to the problem, and not a solution.

But you know what?

I think it's going to be my generation that changes it. We know social media. Some of us communicate mostly through email, facebook and texting. We get how to make a difference. And we do. My generation will be the one that steps up and says it isn't okay.

It isn't okay to make fun of someone. To discriminate based on age, or race, or sexual orientation or disability or intelligence or anything else.

It isn't okay to have an Us vs. Them mentality.

It isn't okay to talk about how loving God is and then hate anyone who is different.

It isn't okay.

And when that happens, when we step up…it will change.

In 1983, D.A.R.E (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) was founded. It has changed lives. Imagine what it could be like if there was a similar approach to bullying. In one generation, D.A.R.E made drugs uncool. Nearly every school age kid knows what the red ribbon means. If something similar could be accomplished for bullying...imagine what could happen.

Hate is learned and we need to lead by example. The things we learn in kindergarten can affect the rest of our lives. If we start from the bottom and work up, we can change hearts. If we could show from the beginning that bullying isn't okay...just imagine it.

If we change the mindset behind bullying, imagine how drastically different our world might be.

It's going to start with us.

Now, don't just imagine it. Let's make it a reality.

How To Show You Mean Business (Vote with your MONEY)

In 1989, an Exxon tanker, known as the Valdez ran aground in Alaska. The resulting disaster was one of the worst the U.S. had ever seen. Consumers were outraged. They cut their Exxon credit cards in two and sent them to the company. A week or two later, the C.E.O. Lawrence Rawl said, "In ten years, you'll see nothing." And in response to consumer outrage, he said that we would forget. He was half right. The effects on the Alaskan tundra are very much still felt today.

But Exxon didn't fold over it…the conglomerate is still in business. Exxon bought Mobil and is stronger than ever. But me? I didn't forget. I haven't bought gas at an Exxon since the day the oil was spilled. It wasn't that the spill happened, I get that "accidents happen." It was the half-assed way the company went about cleaning it, and the years-long litigation in trying to get the damages reduced. For over 20 years now, they have been taking it back to court, and reducing what was awarded in order to avoid being held financially responsible for the mess they made. Most of America forgot. But I did not. No Exxon, no Mobil.

Enter BP and the ongoing cluster!@#$ taking place in the Gulf of Mexico. Continually downplaying the amount of oil being spewed, BP has been pussy-footing around this mess since it happened. Executives are as distant as they can be. They claim they can't stop the oil that is gushing from the pipeline. And maybe not. But until we see the BP big-wigs standing knee-deep in muck with a toothbrush in one hand, and a bottle of Dawn dishwashing liquid in the other, I will not believe they are, "Doing all we can." And as such, I choose to vote with my dollars, yet again. I am not buying gas from ARCO. I will not be patronizing AM/PM and I will steer clear of Castrol motor oil. All of these are owned by British Petroleum.

BP is known for over 8,000 disasters in the last twenty years. And what has been done about it? Isn't it time to say NO to profits over people? I think so.

Will it make a difference to BP? Perhaps not. But it makes a difference to me. Almost 20 years ago, George W. Bush made a mess of handling the Exxon oil spill. This time, President Obama will hold the perpetrators accountable. And so will I.

How about you?

T, who figures it should mean something

What you can do for califmom's family RIGHT NOW

SO MANY have asked how to help Leah and Bob, and this is the first thing we can do:

We can give. I know, I know..the economy. But. Every little bit helps. Can you find any amount? Not going to insult your intelligence to tell you to give up your Starbucks or any other thing. You know what you can afford. Do what you can.

Childhood friends of Leah's aka califmom, have started a fund to help the family with the expenses that come with Bob's illness. Insurance doesn't cover it all, and added expense of eating food out, keeping kids occupied... well it all adds up. So. Here is what we can do (posted from Michelle's facebook account):

Bank of America, Nevada
Account Name: Norling Family
Account #: 501008379041
If you're making a deposit in person, you must have the account number. BofA can not look it up for you, even if you have the account name.

If you would like to handle your donation by mail, please make your check payable to the Norling Family. Remember to write the account number in the memo portion and mail it to:

Michelle Wolfkiel
P.O. Box 193
Minden, NV 89423

She plans to make deposits on Fridays and balance updates will be available on Michelle's facebook account.

From Michelle:

Not going to worry about thank you's right now, but we will make every effort to keep track of everyone's name. Thank you all in advance for your love, prayers, and generous support of Leah, Bob, and their children.

As we celebrate Christ's ultimate sacrifice this Easter weekend, I ask you all to please give until it hurts.

Please feel free to repost this information wherever you think it might do the most good. You should also know this is a non-interest bearing, free checking account and EVERY penny will be available to Leah's family when they need it.

T, who knows you want to help

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Wordless

Image by Send Chocolate via Flickr

I have a friend. Someone I really care about, I have known for a few years now. She's fierce and funny, and sarcastic, and someone I really enjoy spending time with. She doesn't live close, but she's in the same state. We try to get together when one of us in town, it averages out to about once a year, not including BlogHer. We usually hang out at BlogHer all weekend.

I don't usually write posts about other people. I worry about privacy issues. But in this case, I am going to make an exception. Because this person, who I love, her husband is very sick with cancer. And in the next couple of weeks, he is getting ready to undergo a stem cell transplant. Because he is very ill with cancer. And if this doesn't work...there's a very real possibility that nothing will.

So, here is what I want from you. Because, yes, I really want something from you. Ok, two things. The first:

RIGHT now, stop, and pray, send good wishes, whatever it is that you do to whomever it is that you talk to/worship/believe in. If you don't believe in anything, then believe in THEM, dammit. Send good ju-ju.

Secondly, please go and comment upon her post, just to encourage her. She is feeling pretty down, and since I can't do anything from here, I can at least mobilize the troops of social media. Don't think, "Oh no, I don't get involved..." WHAT'S the point of this exercise, this spewing our guts out to the world at large if we DON'T get involved? So. Just Do It.

Then, go hug your loved ones, enjoy every minute you have. Because you just never know.

T, who wants to be able to do MORE

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You can't do the Time Warp again

I was twenty-two and sitting in Denny's, hands clasped over a steaming cup of "mug o' coffee." It was 3 a.m. Seated around a table were all of my friends, as we laughed and ate our Moons Over My Hammy, and Superbird sandwiches. The mood was jubilant, It was a Saturday night and we were in our element.

One of the girls, a doe-eyed, young 18 year old, was eating whipped cream, licking the spoon suggestiively as her black hair cascaded in ringlets down one side of her face. Some of the males sat, transfixed. The women rolled their eyes. I said, "Come on baby, we'll show you how it's done!" And the Whipped Cream Eating Contest was born. The rules were simple: be as sexy as possible while eating it, to the victor went the spoils. In the months following, I was to win the contest numerous times. I also taught the girls a really important skill party trick: how to tie a cherry stem in a knot....with your tongue. Just business as usual for us, the regulars at the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Yes, the crazy midnight movie starring Tim Curry was a staple for me, because face it, in Central California, there isn't a whole lot to do! We would go to clubs until midnight and then head to the Dream Theatre in Monterey, where we watched the Rocky, including pantomiming the Devo video- the one with the Giant Baby (giant baby, for the win!). Our "cast" was too cheap to actually have costumes, so we stood up in the front and acted out and yelled lines. This was how we spent our weekends. (Did I mention there was copious amounts of alcohol involved beforehand for those who needed it?)

"It's just a jump to the left...."

After the show, we would go to Denny's and then to the beach and finally to one of the castmember's homes to crash around 5 a.m. It was a crazy time in my life, and I was young, and stupid, and thought I was immortal. There is much I would rather forget. But those midnight flicks in a popcorn-scented luxury film palace are ingrained in my psyche like the gum stuck to my shoes from the theatre floor. I still have fond memories when I hear the opening bars...

"And a step to the ri-i-i-i-ight"

Years later, I saw the Rocky on Mtv. And I was left flat. I wondered why I ever spent so much of my life reciting lines from a cult movie when I could have been, I don't know... what the heck do people do on weekends after midnight? Sleep? Pass out from drinking? Neither alternative really seemed like much of a choice. Still, my daughter doesn't get it, to her it is an immoral movie with a bunch of weirdos dressed in lingerie, and who would watch that. It's not her cup of tea (and I need to be grateful for that!)

"put your hands on your hips... and bring your knees in tiiiiiight."

The Long Beach gang from twitter has been tweeting about going to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show in San Pedro. Apparently, the first weekend of the month is lingerie night. And while that gives me an excuse to pull out my black velvet corset, my days of keeping those kinds of hours are long gone. With age, comes responsibility, as I am so wont to tell my daughter, and as such, I must attend to my family, forgoing midnight movies (which means I wouldn't be home until after 3 a.m. and that's too long to leave my daughter in charge, especially since she won't sleep with us gone). So, they will have to play without us.

But it's the pelvic thrusts...that really drive you insa-a-a-a-ane...

Do I feel a tinge of regret? A bit, but I recognize that I have a different life now. That dance has been done. It is major shuffling in order to go out at night, and with my kids special needs' , it is just too hard to go out for extended periods, beyond a few hours at night. The other night I went out for karaoke and stayed overnight in Los Angeles with JNerd. We had a good time, but not sure when or if we will do it again. There were...complications. As for the Rocky, the Sword of Damocles is hanging over my head.

but, just one more time, for grins...

"Let's do the Time Warp agaiiiiiiiiiiiiin...

Or, maybe not. It was the end of an era. Pretty sure it is good to keep it that way.

T, who played a pretty good Magenta once upon a time

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I Need YOUR Help. Yes. You. Don't Run Away, Really, It Won't Take Long...

I need your help with something. As you know, I don't beg for you to love me, I really don't promote myself much, but I would big pink puffy heart love you (yes, you!) to go here and nominate me for the Mother of All Bloggers contest. I am not under any illusion that I will win, but after all, it is an honor just to be nominated, right?? I just want to feel like this hobby that makes me about enough for a mocha a week, if I am lucky, is actually worthwhile.

So, today, please go to my profile at MomLogic and vote for me. I need 10 votes in just a few days in order to qualify. It will just take a few moments. Help me explain to my huband that I am not just wasting time online... even if the house does need to be cleaned.

Thanks so much!!

T, who just wants to play with the big dogs

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And Now a Word (or several)

From President Obama's inaugural speech...

cloud by Jem Stone from Wordle

T, who thinks this speech will be remembered

I Didn't Think This Day Would Ever Come

Today is the beginning of a new day. I am so happy, and full of hope. Truly, it sounds silly, and I know I am supposed to be cynical. In this situation, I just can't be. I like him. I trust him. And I believe in the future we will create together.

There's a lot of work to be done, and a lot of mess to clean up. Crimes were committed and those who perpetrated them need to be held accountable. But, not today. Today is a day of joy. So I will just say....God Bless the United States of America.

T, who says let freedom...REAL freedom, ring

It's a New Day

With Apologies to Conservatives...

Just for today, we will revel in this victory. In this wall that has been blown down. We will revel in the dream that has been realized, the one that Martin Luther King Jr. talked about in his famous speech. We will revel in the joy of idealism, and the power that the people still have to believe in change, look past a man's skin to the person he is within. We will revel in the fact that negativity and evil words, ad hominem attacks and false witness did not prevail. We will soak it in.

And tomorrow? We will get to work. There is still work to be done. There is still poverty, oppression, hurt. And we start NOW.

Thank you Lord, that you hear and answer the cry of the oppressed. And always, always have.

How about you? What does this mean to you?

T, who is still crying