I think I've lost my mojo. No, really. I am not joking; it's not funny. I have never been one to complain, and I know how to avoid/block/ignore pain. The longest I have ever been down with anything was 3 days, and that was the Kill-An-Elephant-and-Leave-It-There-To-Rot flu. It got JNerd, too. We were both very, very sick. I think that was February, before last. So...2009? But lately? I am just...sick.
I wrote about it before...how after I came home from blogher, I was dealing with migraines, on a daily basis. They had me down, for a month. No joke. They started 8/5, and I saw the doctor on 9/2. All the time I was waiting? Languishing in a darkened room like some demented character out of a gothic novel. Talk about the drama! I spent so many days flat on my back I could have paid for my mortgage had I been doing anything more remotely interesting. Instead?Ice pack at the base of my skull, cold, weighted eye mask over my face. I did a lot of listening to tv...it was all I could do.
And now, thanks to a god-send of a doctor, who saw me in the grips of a terrible migraine attack and immediately fixed it with a shot of Imitrex and then a prescription, my head is better, or at least on its way to becoming better. But. There were...complications. I won't go into my bathroom habits, cause that shit lives forever on the internet, but let's just say they're non-
existent. at this point. And not from ...lack of trying. And then, there are complications to that.
And while all that sucks, what's worse is that my cycle is all screwed up. I have had not ONE, not TWO, but THREE periods in the last TWO months. Yep, that's right. Three. The only good news is that proves I am not pregnant. But I am sick of my period, sick of feeling sick and ready to get off my freaking bed. And I just..can't. I am achy, tired, bleeding. Despite this all, I am trying to find the funny, you know, fkeep up my spirits.
I am failing miserably. I have spent the last month begging off of most things I am supposed to be doing. I have missed karate, eye appointments and countless other things I am supposed to attend. I missed a good friend's birthday party, blog events, and just, everything. My house is a disaster, my dog is a monster (She needs my attention and training, no one can handle her the way I do) and my kids are being raised by wolves. ENOUGH. I have an MRI sometime in the next week or so. To make sure I am not dying of a brain tumor (I'm not.) I called the doctor's office and was told that all of my labs: thyroid, hormones, were normal.. Well, that's just awesome, possum!
Then tell me why I don't feel normal?? I am OVER this. I have never been down this long, and I am having a hard time seeing around it to the light at the end of the tunnel. Which is probably a bus, anyway.
ANd that is why I have lost my mojo.
posted from my iPad
