It's been a little over a month now since Poppy came to live with us and all I can say is... wow. Wow, that she's such a sweet-natured obedient pup. Wow, that she requires so much work. Wow, that she sometimes doesn't want to listen. Just like kids. She has grown so fast! She is huge, already.
Still, it is so nice to have her with us. She has a crazy period around 9 at night, when all she wants to do is chew on the leash when she is taken outside. We are working on it. I am in the process of getting her enrolled in puppy classes, but so far she is doing quite well. She will sit, lie down, shake and even heel most of the time. We are still working on "come" but she is getting there. She does "leave it" and "off" pretty well. She is just squirrelly at times. What do you expect? She's a pup!
No one can handle her as well as I do. Even JNerd has a bit of trouble at times, but she will come around. What's hysterical is to watch how she obeys JBean! JBean is maybe 40 lbs. soaking wet. Poppy is 41.3 lbs as of Friday. But JBean says, "SIT." and Poppy sits. She will allow JBean to lead her by her collar to me. I don't really let her walk her yet. That may be soon. She really has an aura of power about her. And to think...JBean used to be afraid, bordering on phobia, of dogs!
Poppy has been good for us all. I have learned to actually get up in the morning, something I hate. But when 40+ lbs. th-thumps the bed next to you, as front paws end up on the bed and tongue lolls in your face? You get up. And pretty happily, I might add. I really look forward to our morning walk after breakfast!
So, all in all, it is working out well. I enjoy her, and she enjoys my treats. No really, she likes us all.
It's true what you've heard about Newfoundlands: they drool. And they shed (though she hasn't started, yet!) She has started to drool, so that's fun. I am doing a lot of laundry. Woo! Slimy jeans! I knew the risks. And talk about loving water? I have two bath towels in the kitchen to mop up water when she inevitably dumps or spills her water dish...on purpose. Yep. She loves to be wet. What's one more special-needs member of my family, you know? Besides, look at this face! How could you not love this?
And as, JBear says, Puppies are a lot of work. But puppy kisses are more than worth it.
Earlier this month, I had the distinct pleasure to attend the L.A. Bloggers' Brunch at the Shade hotel in Manhattan Beach. Top area bloggers were treated to an omelet bar, pastries with all the trimmings and fresh-squeezed orange juice and coffee. Beforehand, was a seminar with great speakers like my friends Ciaran andCaryn. In a roomful of marketers, P.R. people and bloggers, we discussed whether or not a blogger should return merchandise after review. It was decided that if the vendor wants it back, they need to say so, and they also need to make it easy to return, perhaps postage-paid. But optimal would be not having to return at all. This is a controversial topic, and I am not sure we reached a consensus.
Dyson is now making a vacuum specifically for those with animals. I may need one of those with the Newfie! In fact, I know I could give it a run for the money with two long-haired cats and a Newfoundland dog. Do you have any idea how much shedding is done in this house? Hey Dyson! Want to do some product testing?? Let's see just how good that sucker is! Vacuum...sucker...see what I did there??
Backyard Safari showed their toys that will be in Target and other major retailers..I was enamoured with the large magnifying glass frame made of plastic. Very good for tide pools!
It was a wonderful morning for all concerned. I met some really nice people, new contacts and renewed old friendships. It was great to get out and eat a meal I didn't have to 1) COOK and 2) CLEAN UP AFTER <--THIS is huge!
And, as if that wasn't enough, there were some nice perks. Pottery Barn treated us all to a tote bag with a really nice beach towel. Bandai gave us a fun bag of goodies, including JBean's favorite, Harumika. She just loves this line that encourages creativity. (No, really, she will play for hours, and it keeps her quiet in the car in traffic. That right there is worth the price of admission, in my mind). Nickelodeon provided some of their top toys, as well. Temptress was on hand to do makeovers. Prizes were won. Dyson gave away some vaccuums. Sadly, not to me. And? Apparently there is a $100 mascara. Who knew?! (for that price, it should make me look, if not like Angelina, at least like Sandra...without the plastic surgery. What? It could happen!)
Thank you, Child's Play for the invitation. It was a great event!
T, who was just happy to be there
I did not receive compensation for this post, and no one made me write it. I did get an amazing omelet (with avocado and bacon and cheese!) and some nifty gifties.
I have had a life-long fear of the dentist since I was a teenager, I think. I would break out in a cold sweat at the thought of visiting a dental office. Which is kind of ironic, because my mother is more fearful than I am. She wanted to be sure that her children wouldn't end up with the same phobia, so she worked hard to find a good dentist. And she did. Dr. Howard was an avuncular boisterous man, and I liked him. No worries, so far. My mother insists that I refused to get braces, but I don't remember it that way. Still, it was a good experience. I didn't mind having my teeth cleaned, and didn't have much fear. The problem came when I had to have my wisdom teeth out at 18. With a different dentist. I developed an allergy to the pain medication and wound up so sick I lost 14 lbs. in a week. I had a dry socket, which means the blood didn't clot and the nerve was exposed to air. I popped Tylenol like candy for a while. Until my dentist introduced me to clove oil, and instantaneous pain relief.
I did really well for a long time, going to the dentist when I needed to, maybe not getting regular cleanings, but does anyone? After my second child was born, I had to have a root canal. And the experience was as bad as I had imagined. The sensory nightmare of the shots, the drill, the cement, all of it, was enough to put me off dentists for a long time.
A few years back, I broke a tooth, and had to have another root canal. I didn't have a regular dentist at that point, so I went to what I term a "chop shop." I had a very intense panic attack outside the office that day. Still, I went through with it, mainly because I had incredible pain from an abscess and it had to be dealt with or I was going to jump off of a bridge. I ended up with an ill-fitting crown, that they redid twice. It was still never right.
Soon after that, we found an amazing dentist. His office is decorated in Craftsman style, warm woods, cool lights and just an aura of relaxation. Entering, I was still terrified, but intent on making sure my children have good dental care. I eased them into it, and would sit in the room with them as they received their treatments, constantly It served to help me be less skittish. had to have two teeth pulled by an oral surgeon, which was awful, and did nothing for my dental phobia. But I was convinced I needed to get over my fears, and I pushed myself to do so.
I needed a lot of work, but over time, it was all done. Now, I am in my last phase, and wearing Invisilign to straighten out my overbite and stop me from grinding my teeth at night. And I see the dentist monthly. My phobia is completely gone. I still don't like dental procedures, but I no longer cry. I am quite proud of my courage and sticktuitiveness.
My kids love the dentist, and see him regularly. This is a feat accomplished with kids who have autism. Dental fears are right up there as far as fears go. But the process of spending time with our dentist (who also goes to our church and works in the childrens' department with my kids) My youngest, JBean, went from terror to looking forward to seeing him. That's a testimony to a great dentist.
My dentist is worth his weight in gold. And that's about how much I pay him. I wouldn't have it any other way.
I wrote this a couple of days ago, but couldn't publish until now. I wanted to post it, so I am going ahead and doing so.
I'm sitting here in my no-tell motel,a stone"s throw from califmom's house. she offered me the couch, but I didn't want to impose. Being that tonight is the night before her husband's funeral, it didn't seem right to stay. I flew up this afternoon, and spent the evening with her and some of our Blogher/twitter people. We laughed and ate and drank...almost forgetting what brought us together. Almost, but not quite.
I hate the fact that tomorrow we will be sitting in a church saying goodbye to her husband. Afterwards,we will drink. Sadly, I will board a plane for L.A. on Tuesday. I can't be here...I have my own obligations at home.
The good news is she has really good support here in real life. I just wish it could be me.
Still, she has angels, one of whom is, @mcqueenie23 who is organizing a meal fund, so if you want to donate, either message her on twitter, or hit her blog. All of you who read this...you are awesome, you know this, right?
UPDATE: Califmom posted her post about the funeral, you might want to read it.
This week I had the supreme pleasure to visit Pelican Hill Resort for Mom's Day Off with my girls, the bloggers from OC Family. I brought the kids with me, and they spent the day at Camp Pelican, the kids' club…keeping the kids occupied so mama could relax= WIN!
I drove up to the front of the hotel, a beautiful property, located on the ocean, and the valet took one look at my 2001 van that has seen better days and said, "May I help you?" Giving me a level stare, it was clear he thought I was lost. Ah, but I have learned how to deal with this! I acted as though I belonged there, and told him where I was going, and if he didn't warm up, he at least thawed a bit. As I opened the door to get the kids out, I prayed all of the flotsam that accumulates in the back would stay put and not find its way onto the pristine cobblestones below. The god of Minivan Crap heard my prayer. Of course, the valet parked my car out of sight so as not to besmirch the Bentleys and Mercedes that were draped all over the circular drive.
Once inside the spa, though, the attitude changed completely! Everyone was so wonderful at this award-winning spa. I headed to the locker room, and changed into my robe and slippers, then was escorted to the waiting room before treatment was to begin. It was a luxurious and relaxing place, and as I sipped warm tea, enjoyed the soft lights, fresh flowers and water features, I didn't want to leave. I was booked for a massage, and soon Gregory, my therapist, came to get me to begin. I was taken aback because this man
was the size of a linebacker on a pro football team! But he had very gentle hands, with just the right amount of pressure. As he was massaging me, my body started to relax and I swear, I needed to pass gas. I was lying there, trying to will myself not to do so, also trying to relax at the same time. And then? He started massaging my hands, and I swear this is true, he pulled my finger! Well, now if you had a dad, you would know what happens when you pull his finger, right? Just me? So the conditioning set in, and I found myself silently praying I would "remain silent" and not just let one go. My prayer to the Anti-Flatulence gods was answered. Thankfully, I was spared that particular embarrassment!
I did find, though, that my glutes "needed work". (that's "butt muscles" for those of us that are fitness-lingo-impaired). I wear the Skechers Shape Up shoes, and apparently, I wear them too much, because my butt was really, really tight. (I always thought it was good to have a tight butt?!)Also, I seem to carry my tension in my uh..backside.the jokes here just write themselves...it's just too easy. Since the muscles never really get a chance to relax, it can cause back problems. And as he was getting those particular muscles to release (which meant pushing on my butt cheeks as hard as he could…ow!) all I could think is, "This is proof my children are a pain in my posterior!" Yeah, that. In any case, an hour later, and sufficiently pulled, prodded and pummeled into pudding, the warm, gooey kind, I decided that I was going to take Gregory home and hide him in my closet. Once I go back again, I am totally going to steal him.
The massage was followed by refreshments afterwards, and a quick dip in the jacuzzi (with a disposable bikini swim suit…the less said about that the better!) But of course, I cannot do anything that is "less".. so suffice it to say, I haven't worn a bikini since oh… 1989? Of course, the alternative was to go in au naturel and that just isn't my thing. This isn't the Eighties, and I am NOT 21 anymore. I wear clothes now. Almost always.
After we were dressed, we headed over to the Coliseum Grill for an amazing salad with grilled prawns the size of a baby's fist. No, really. We also met Kim, our editor and Steve, the Big Cheese, head honcho CEO with a sense of humor from Churm Media..responsible for our OC Family and other local publications. We had quite the nice chat. Steve was a very good sport, hanging out with bloggers who are known for candor. His education has now begun regarding tampons and using Facebook while in the bathroom.(Beckey called it a "Facebook Dump"). We ended the meal with tiramisu gelato and coffee, and more laughter. It was wonderful. Some of the girls were able to experience a post-lunch sit in their own private cabana with a view of the ocean. Which makes me wonder…did it come with a cabana boy? Sadly, though, it was time for me to go home, I didn't want to push my kids too far with a new experience. I felt I needed to get them home. Turns out, they would have loved to have stayed longer. Who knew?
The entire experience surpassed my expectations. The massage I had was the best of my life. I can completely understand how much of their client base is local. Though they are expensive, they would inspire loyalty from the repeat visitors. Some even come to the spa three times a week! I cannot even imagine. Nevertheless,it was a joy to be able to see what I am missing by not being able to live the "spa lifestyle." My kids have informed me that we need to "get rich" so they can go back to Camp Pelican. They were given parting gifts, which they thought was the coolest thing, ever. The care they received there made all the difference. I was able to completely relax knowing they were in good hands. I do plan to go back there, as a bit of a treat to myself when I can. I wonder if I could sell my children to finance that particular endeavor?
T, who wants to go back, right now
I was not paid to write this post, but I did receive the best massage ever. No one made me write this...I just loved my experience so much I chose to write about it.
Early this morning, Bob quietly went gentle into that good night. And we mourn and we rage along with califmom, Leah, and her kids. In a situation like this, I suppose it is human nature to make it about yourself. What if it had been my family? How would we survive? What would we do? But, tonight, I refrain from going there. Because Leah needs me. She needs us.
She needs us to mourn with her, and make her laugh, and remember to sling the sarcasm.definitely do not forget the sarcasm! At some point, Leah may appreciate that Bob ended this life on Velociraptor Awareness Day. It just seems...right. Bob was a nut. In any case, she needs us to acknowledge what has happened, and to cry with her and to carry on as though everything was the same. And as though everything were different. She needs us to post our ridiculous tweets and goofy pictures. She needs normalcy, or, as much as she can get.
Or at least, that is what I think she needs. To be honest, I have no earthly idea what she needs, I can only guess. Which makes me feel very helpless...not a place I am used to being!
Tonight, JNerd and I, for wont of doing something, raised our glasses and had a shot of Patron, the premium tequila that was Bob's favorite. We drink to a life well-lived, and well-loved. We honor Bob's life. And we drink to the missed opportunity of being able to drink that shot with Bob himself. Just before he got sick, I met Leah and Bob in San Diego. We had dinner, and since I was driving later that night, I conservatively refrained from doing shots with the two of them. Though I didn't leave for hours afterward, I stuck to coffee that night. We reasoned we would have a "raincheck." That raincheck never came. A month later, he was sick.
So, tonight, we raised our glasses to a wonderful guy. An amazing and supportive husband; a loving father. And though JNerd had never actually met Bob, it didn't matter. Imaginary unicorn internet friends are ALWAYS there for one another. But don't let the smiles fool you, I have been in tears for them all day.
You say you want to help? I am so glad. Because this is a family that has been fractured, and with the expenses coming, they will need your support. Bob was also the sole income, so there will be some adjustments and transitions made. (Though I am not sure what those will entail,I can only imagine). So, yes, they need our help. You can go here, and donate via Paypal. Don't feel awkward, just think if it had been your family. Also, for the record, this paypal account was NOT Leah's idea...it was borne at the request of those who wanted to help. Posting it on her blog made it readily accessible. They say it takes a village. Bullshit, it takes the Internet. And, when she is ready, we will be here.
One of the best things about homeschooling is that my kids have the opportunity to explore the things they are most interested in. JBug plays the piano, completely self-taught. She isn't a concert pianist, but she can play what she hears and likes. Pretty impressive.
On Friday, she held an impromptu photo shoot with her siblings. These are her pictures, taken completely by her...I just did a bit of photo tweaking. Clearly, she has an eye for photography, as well as an ear for music. Artistic, much?
What's better than kissing your brother? Making him grimace while doing it!
I am completely remiss, and a terrible friend. I wanted to tell you all about the book my friend Chris gave me when she attended a children's literacy event. She brought me the new book by Holly Robinson Peete and her daughter, Ryan. My Brother Charlie is about Charlie, a boy with autism, and the family who loves him. Callie and Charlie are twins, but only Charlie has autism. The book is told in the voice of Callie, who loves her brother, but admits life with him can be hard sometimes. It is sweet and heartfelt, and I have to tell you, when I read it to my daughter, I get a lump in my throat. The pictures really set the tone of the book, straightforward and bright. Charlie can ruin playdates, but he loves the dog and gives great hugs. Throughout the book it is obvious how much Charlie is loved by his family.
Autism Awareness month is almost half over, and if you don't already have your autism awareness t-shirt, what the heck are you waiting for?! Yes, I know we are already aware of autism, but believe it or not, I still run into people who don't know about autism! No, really. I swear. Like the sweet grandma at the grocery store who thought my daughter was just "overtired." So our job is not done, friends. I don't know about you, but I often don't want to have to tell people in so many words about my kids. I let my shirt speak for me. I know, I know, I don't have to tell them anything, but work with me here...
All the cool kids are wearing them… don't you want to be one of the cool kids? Well? Don't you? That there is my son, and he is the coolest of the cool. I didn't plan to have him wear red, it Just Happened. I enjoyed taking the pictures with him. He was a really good sport, as usual. He is used to Momma's bizarre bloggy requests. A t-shirt picture was easy! This is where I got mine…isn't it snazzy? Fits well, and hey, it's red! (yes, I know the "official" color for autism is blue, but I never claimed to like boxes much. Well, that is, unless they are small, blue and velvet and contain jewelry. Barring that, I think the red looks pretty good, don't you?
You know you want one! Go. Now. And just to sweeten the deal (because, after all, I an nothing if not sweet) Cheap? Shame on you! You can enter the following code for 10% off ANYTHING on the site Custom T-Shirts..but you know what you really want is an autism awareness shirt, right?
just enter the code at check out!
sendchoc10
T, who figures her favorite color this month is red
I was not compensated for this post, but I did receive a really cool t-shirt
picture taken with Canon T1i. Edited with Picnik which makes my photos look like a rock star. Or pro level. Or something.
Homeschooling can be a lot of fun. What? Stop laughing, no really. I mean, the times I lie awake at night worried that my son can't do Algebra and my daughter can't read well enough are just a million laughs. The stress and responsibility I feel when it seems the kids cannot function academically, socially or behaviorally the way I believe they should, well, it makes me want to drink. And I am not talking about Tang or Milk here, either. Send Mama a martini!
Often, though, when I feel like I have reached my limit…when I think I am doing my children a great disservice by schooling them at home and that they would be better off in a public school setting, with all of its weaknesses and the lack of placement for higher-functioning autism/Asperger's? Well,the kids go and make cognitive leaps, seemingly overnight. Almost like they have to prove me wrong. They show me that it isn't that bad, and that it always gets better. Or, you drink. Something the kids didn't show me. And just an aside, I talk about drinking, but do very little of it. It doesn't make a very good coping mechanism, to be honest. Karate works better. And yoga. And screaming. In the car, with the windows up. By myself. I tried it once with the kids in the car, and they flipped out. Thought I grew two heads. Note to self: save the theatrics for alone time, mama!
In any case, I have been laboring over my daughter's lack of reading fluency. This week, JBean started to read. And she did it the way her brother did…which is what I kept telling myself, even as I second-guessed her progress. "She will get there, and it will seem almost overnight." This is my wakeup mantra when I want to close the book on the whole homeschool experiment. One morning she woke up, wanted to read with me. I obliged. One hundred pages of Dick & Jane later? She is finally a reader, in her own mind. I knew she could read, but she didn't want to call herself a reader, she thought she wasn't "good enough." Yes, she read all of those pages in one morning, and was still rarin' to go when I called No Joy and begged for a break. My ears were tired!
This morning,needing an audience for her newest parlor trick, she waylaid Poppy, our pup, to show her what she had learned. And, as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words:
So. I will keep homeschooling my children, because I believe that it works best for our family. They will continue to do outside activities and lessons and we will treasure this time together. They will grow and mature, and continue to trust themselves, as I try not to undermine that. And we will continue to love one another. That is, when we aren't wanting to hurl Nerf darts at one another. Although, now that I think about it...that could work. We'll just call it P.E. Kids need P.E. don't they? What did I do with that blasted Nerf gun?
T, who learns so much from homeschooling her children
"Life. slightly dark, cheaper than candy, and half as sweet."
Glad you're here! I'm a freelance writer, specializing in autism, special needs and education. I freelance for numerous national publications. This is where I let it all hang out, sans editor.
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