Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I Will NOT Accept That She's a Decade and a Half, that's a Damn Lie... Statistic

I looked at her, she looked at me. We eyed one another warily. I was completely new to this gig, she was fresh from the oven. I held her legs aloft, determined to pull this off. I was woman, surely I could accomplish this task; it wasn't too daunting for me. I grasped the edges and pulled. The side came loose with a loud ripping sound and I trembled. One more to go. I pulled firmly on the tapes, with newfound confidence. I had this! I pulled the diaper out from under her bottom,the cool Spring air hit her parts and she let out a wail. More like a car alarm Four alarm fire air raid siren. I promptly burst into tears, knees knocking and... peed myself. No, really, I did. I bet she doesn't even know that. well, now she does.

I was a new mama, straight out of the hospital, with a baby that I couldn't give back. She hadn't cried much in the hospital, I wasn't used to it, and the sound of her distress really set me on edge. Fatigued muscles that were never meant for passing a grapefruit had just had enough. Thankfully, I was wearing a huge postpartum pad, the kind they give you on the mother/baby floor attached to those sexy net underwear you know the ones, a cousin to support hose and the size of grandma's shower cap and that could probably absorb a small lake. (good thing!)

And that was my introduction, fifteen years ago, today, to motherhood. It got better.(spoken in my best Monty Python accent, of course)

Happy Birthday, baby girl. I am so very proud of you in so very many ways. and if I enumerate them here now you will be even more embarrassed, so I should probably quit while I'm ahead.(and not tell the story of how you projectile-pooped all over the nursery door in front of Daddy's coworkers at the very next diaper change...)

T, who is NOT old

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5 sent chocolate:

foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) said...

She is beautiful! You've clearly done well in raising her! Hope she enjoys her birthday.

(I actually had to beg my husband to call a nurse the first day we - WE, because the two of us were trying to tag-team change a diaper!! - attempted to change our baby's diaper in the hospital. The lamest part? It was our SECOND baby!!)

TooManyHats said...

She is a wonderful girl. Happy birthday to her.

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Tony Letts said...

Cannot be humanly possible! Young Mum like you? No way!
I now have a better understanding of what its like to give birth. Question is - did I need that in my life? Luckily I wasn't eating.


Jeannie said...

Could be worse. She could be 16! Enjoy your car while you still have it. :)

Recent blog post: Ocean Wonders

Recent blog post:
Ocean Wonders

Alicia D. said...

OMG, how gorgeous is your daughter?!?!? I can totally relate to the feeling of being a new mom (minus the peeing myself) and suddenly turning around and celebrating her... um, in my case... 14th birthday!! yes, of COURSE i had her at 16!!! Otherwise that would make me, ya know, older than i feel like i should be.

As always, love your writing style and post!

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